Now that I’m on part 6 of my series, 10 Things I Hate About Facebook, I feel a little bit like Sylvester Stallone after making the ninth or tenth installment of Rocky. What can I say, some people just don’t know when to call it a wrap—even when the thing has lived, died and rotted decades beyond its expiration date. In that case there’s only one thing left to do: pull the radioactive blob out from the back of the fridge, plug your nose and head for the trash can.
I guess this is the old heave-ho. Very well then, off we go.
8. I do not care about your cyber farm.
Would a series about the annoying things done on Facebook be complete if FarmVille wasn’t on it? Of course not. Every time I get an invite to see what one of my social media companions has harvested or grown or slaughtered on FarmVille, I immediately think to myself, “They have way too much free time on their hands.”
Of all the things to do with your life, cyber farming is really the best you can come up with? It kind of says a lot about our country these days. Once a land of farmers who painstakingly built a nation on the basis of the Puritan work ethic—emphasizing diligent labor, appropriate rest, frugality and charity—we’re now a nation of cyber farmers with a couple gazillion dollars of debt to show for it. Oh, we burn the midnight oil alright, cyber farming. Sheesh.
9. Re-post if you love Jesus.
OMG, this is so annoying. Like, totally. No j/k, no smiley face, no LOL. I always laugh when I imagine people seeing this in their news feed and sweating whether or not they should repost:
Sadly, 97% of Facebook users won’t repost this. When Jesus died on the cross, He was thinking of you. If you are the 3% who cares, repost and like this. Repost if you love God. He already saw you read it.
This is a real conundrum, people. I either act like a complete idiot for reposting this load of manure in a meme that looks like a Michael W. Smith sweater from the 80s, or I apparently hate Jesus. I can’t hide, because he already knows that I saw it. What do I do?!!!! Why is “friends are friends forever, if the Lord’s the Lord of them…” playing in my head?!!! I don’t love the 80s!!!! I didn’t repost. I am Judas after all!!!! I’m in the 97 percent; my life is over and I hate God!!!!
A simple point: always question the theology of a meme that says you hate Jesus if you don’t repost. Seriously.
10. The people who actually have something to say and worry about being offensive on Facebook generally keep quiet, while the ones who have little to add won’t stop posting.
In the course of this series, I’ve had a few people email or message me and say something like, “Yeah, I’ve been convicted about some of this stuff and what I put on Facebook. I’m really going to think more about that in the future.” And you know what? They’re usually the people who post helpful, loving, edifying things.
And to those guys and gals—the ones who never comment or post because they don’t want to offend—I commend you, and at the same time I challenge you: don’t let the world be flooded by nonsensical chaos. Sweet, gentle, strong and true, bring your voice of wisdom into the arena. We need it.
As we wrap up this series, I hope we’ll each take a moment or two to think about how we use Facebook—either to tear people down, lay guilt upon them, drive wedges in relationships or, on the other hand, to build up, edify, encourage and promote unity within the body of Christ.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).